Alone on Christmas?



It’s been a while since I’ve written anything on my blog, but I felt like it today.
With the holidays coming up, I’m never really in the brightest of moods.
I can’t remember when my holiday dread began, but I had a bit of a tumultuous time when I moved out on my own to the Netherlands. Pretty sure it gradually started then and just got worse every year.
Holidays became less fun for me, and I just end up working instead.

This year, I’m spending Christmas in Jakarta with RayTay (@taykeenmeng), but I wanted to write to those of you who are in the same place I was a couple years back. Maybe my experience can help, somewhat.

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1. Try working

Back when I lived in Utrecht and hated my life, Christmas consisted of me working nightshifts in a hospital.
I wouldn’t recommend anyone to start working nightshifts,  or working in a hospital, but working isn’t the worst idea.

Last year I spent Christmas in Cape Town. I didn’t know that many people yet in the city, so I just spent that day working as well.
I was in a social environment with people all in the same situation as I was, which helped a lot.
We were all away from family, so we just had fun and enjoyed ourselves together.
Plus we got paid, which is nice.

2. Ignore Christmas Propaganda


Hi, I’m a cynical little b*tch.
Can’t you tell?

Not everybody has a sweet old grandma who stuffs you with delicious food for a day. I won’t even get into my grandma, but let’s just say she’s not that.
Not even close.
I’m sure you know what commercials I’m talking about. The typical jolly jingle, the big happy family by a fireplace and the mountains of gifts underneath a Mount Everest sized tree.

Its. Not. Real.

So stop feeling bad.

The one that made me feel better working at that hospital, was seeing all the families come in during the holiday season. Never felt better about my own family after dealing with messed up family feuds in an emergency room.

Trust me, those emotional commercials are still just trying to sell you something.
Some Marcus at Marketing for a random brand came up with that on his lunch break, and the goal is to make you feel something.

I’m not buying it.

Thank u.

3. Do something kind for another person

Surprising for a cynical little b*tch like me- but my tiny cold heart does melt sometimes.
rarely, but it happens.


need proof?

So I’d always either work Christmas Eve or the night of Christmas day. I’d have to leave my stuff for the person picking up my shift, so I left them a little Christmas surprise as well.
Sometimes I got a nice message back, sometimes nothing. It didn’t really matter, the gesture itself made me feel better.

Just like I’d always have a box of chocolates to give to the bus driver on my way home from work.
Without that guy I couldn’t get home at all, so it was just my way of saying thanks.

Doing something nice for someone else makes you feel good. Shocker, I know.
It’s not a reason to not do it. It’s a good motivation to do it.
Small gestures make a big difference.

4. Book a flight

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Personally, its my favorite solution.

Its hard to think about Christmas when you’re downing tequila shots on a white sandy beach.
But really, to me, it’s about exploring a new place for the first time.
If I’m on the other side of the world, it’s so much easier to just forget everything that makes me sad back home.
A place that is foreign to me in every way feels more at home than the Netherlands does at Christmas.
I’d rather distract myself with brand-new impressions and meet new people in a faraway place than sit on my own bed and feel lonely.
I already know what that’s like- and it’s no fun.

5. Call a family member

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such a sweet little sister

Before you yell at me for being a hypocrite, just hear me out.

There are very limited times when you are obligated to hang out with family members. Christmas, weddings and funerals are the usual.
Sorry to get dark, but my dad’s funeral had a better turnout than my any event I’ve attended since

You don’t choose your family.
Nobody does.

So even if you have a horrible relationship with your father, or your siblings are estranged from you, or you have a creepy uncle you’d like to disown- just give them a short call.
Or send a card if that’s easier.

I don’t have a large extended family.
I’m pretty much estranged from my moms side and I’ve never known anyone on my dads side.
My siblings have also been through hell for the past few years.
It motivated me to work harder and create a better life of my own, but I constantly have to remind myself to stop for a moment and cherish the time we do have together. I’m extremely thankful to have as many awesome siblings as I do, annoying as it gets sometimes.

It’s the little moments you remember, so I’d rather have a short memory of a good conversation with my mom instead of countless hours of fighting.
Let Christmas be that one time you take a deep breath and just let it go.

You only get the family you have, and you’re lucky if you have any family at all to be mad at.
Everyone has some crazy in their genetics.

Hope you have an amazing holiday season, regardless of your current situation,

Much love


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